I’m Judging You For Being So Judgemental Mummy Shamer
Oh my word, if you're a Mum or any kind of parent or caregiver I can guarantee you've faced your fair share of judgement.
For the smallest of reasons like how you dress your baby or how you held him that one time on an Instagram story 'that's actually terrible for their hips don't you know?!' To the biggest of parenting decisions, you know, the ones you've put heaps of thought into, discussed with your partner and decided is the best thing for your family. I mean let's be real, why didn't you first consult Caroline from Adelaide when deciding to cut dairy from your 3 years olds diet? Caroline might not be your GP but in Caroline's day everyone ate dairy and no one had lactose intolerance. Are you sure you and your whole generation aren't just soft? Unlike Caroline's?
I'm normally a very non judgemental person so why is this on my mind? I'm trying to find my tribe on the clock app and in doing so being a little more opinionated. The digital marketing gurus tell me that to find the people who will resonate with my views I need to first share them. What?! Apparently 'You Do You Boo' isn't a stance, go figure. So here I am. Sharing. Voicing. Loudly stating my opinions for at worst a few hundred people to critisise, to at best 250,000. Now, I have thin skin so I ordinarily avoid sharing my opinions on social media because I can't hack the backlash. Sometimes I also don't articulate myself perfectly so my meanings get twisted this way and that, and then it's as if the opinion I stated translated to PLEASE ATTACK ME when played backwards or something.
But the thing is I'm only recently sharing my opinions and seeing Mummy shaming isn't new for me at all. It's everywhere. On any social media platform you'll see stories of women being shamed for their choices by the people in their lives like their MIL's or sister who apparently had a kid before them and is now an expert in sleep training or whatever. But worse, you'll see women being shamed right there by other people on the platform. Other women, other Mums, the very people who are supposed to be their peers. It wouldn't matter if this person is sharing a story about something unrelated or desperately asking for help. There in the comments you'll find someone who knows better and who will make you feel like shit to prove it.
The most recent target on my back is from talking about gendered clothing. Don't get me wrong I really like strongly gendered clothing. A headband bow? Yes please. But I also like genderless, or more commonly described, unisex clothing. Most often it's neutral which visually appeals to me more, it's also much more sustainable. There are many people within our society who also find it more inclusive. As we learn more about gender as a social construct this is important and there's no reason why I can't support that. One of my baby brands core values is sustainability so this is a focus of my work both with my designs and also within the content I create.
If this isn't for you that's ok.
On the plus side sharing my views has enabled me to find my tribe. In fact there are many Mums who I see wholeheartedly supporting each other in the spaces I've created. They share common views like, beige isn't sad it's visually calming, owning less enables you to do more and being sustainable with your parenting choices isn't just great for the planet but for your cash flow too. Most of all, they share the stance of 'you do you boo'. And that's just grand.
Emma is the founder and CEO of Angus The Label, Mum of two and Step Mum of two. A self described tree hugger Emma brings a particular bougie vibe to sustainability and minimalism through her company and loves to build community within her space.